Self love. It takes dedication and self reflection. It doesn't only mean giving yourself a compliment or a manicure every now and then. It means surrounding yourself with what and who is good for you. Self love is a journey, and when you embark on that journey, you realize that there is way more out there that you can open your mind to. Along the way, you learn what you're capable of and acquire new ways of thinking.
I can also tell you what self love does not mean. Holding yourself to such a high standard where you think you're above everyone else. Many times, I experience others insinuating that they are confident because they know they are better then someone else or they judge and pick apart another persons flaws to make themselves feel better. We have all been guilty of this. I am not perfect and neither is anyone else. But, when you make an effort to go on a journey and really find what it means to love yourself and hope it inspires other people, you learn to judge less. As you learn to judge less, you learn to not tear others down in a negative way. When you finally come to a point where trying to find a flaw in someone else no longer serves you or your ego, you realize that many others have yet to discover this. You realize, your mindset has changed.
The first impression you may have is that these people are untrustworthy, mean people who just want others to suffer at their own expense. That they're selfish and don't care about anyone else's feelings. Honestly, those used to be my first thoughts. Now, I think about it a little differently.
These are the people who need to learn self love the most. The ones who constantly tear town others or say she's too fat, she's too thin, and she's not pretty enough are reflecting exactly how they feel about themselves.
As much as we can tell the ones who do this that they are wrong and they are bad people, we would only be sending more negativity out. My hope is that they could realize that they may be hurting others, whether they realize it or not, and hope they too will embark on a journey for themselves.
There are a few things you can do to shift your mindset and realize if you tend to focus negativity on others instead of looking at your self positively.
1. Spend some time alone
Take yourself out of your usual social surroundings. Sometimes our thoughts can be manipulated by the thought patterns of others. You may think everything that comes out of your mouth is your own opinion, but it can be skewed by someone else point of view. It's all energy being mixed together.
2. Write in a journal
During this time alone, spend some time writing your thoughts down in a journal. Whatever comes to your mind, just jot it down and let it flow. Most of the time, our truest thoughts are what we don't say out loud.
3. Keep track of when you have a negative or judgmental thought
Write down these thoughts and why you have them. Determine where they came from and see if it's connected to a negative way you feel about yourself.
4, Keep track of any positive thoughts
When you face and work through the negative, the positive makes its way through. See if you notice any positive shifts of thinking in your daily life. Whats amazing about this is your positivity spreads to others, and this doesn't only benefit you, but also those you come in contact with.
5. Meditate
Sitting in peace with no thoughts at all can actually cleanse your mind. If I'm in a hectic situation or just need a break in my day, meditating can help me center myself. When I open my eyes, I feel like I'm starting fresh.
Continue your journey
This journey isn't only about being less judgmental, it's about discovering your capabilities. It's no longer about ego, it's about true self confidence. You then are more confident to do things you never thought possible and embark on other journeys in other areas of your life, and encouraging others to do so also.
We live in a world where the mentality of being competitive and tearing down others to feel better about ourselves is all too common. During my journey to realize that this is not the way, I hope to help others stop and think. Positive thoughts can spread like wildfire if you send them out. So, think positive about yourself and the next person who comes your way, you never know how much they need it.
Just remember, you are amazing and are fully capable of reaching the highest point of self love.
Enjoy the journey.
This post was inspired by the the book "Spirit Junkie" by Gabrielle Bernstein which really helped me along the way. I can't take credit in finding this book myself. This also goes out to the one who recommended it to me, Jessica Pineda, who's positive energy is always being spread.
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